My Weekend

Well I have been super busy with work. I have been trying to find a job closer to home so I can walk...and get some extra cash! I have been super stressed out lately. Found out the night my friend had me drive his car for him since he was to drunk to drive that I now have a speeding ticket. Wont hear for another week or so to find out how much it is! :/ I flipped out and still am just not as much.
I told everyone about our audits and I said that once they were done that I would be shift leader....well they are done and we pasted and yet still have not become shift leader. Makes me wounder what is really going on. We got first place. Everyone scored in the 80's or lower while we got the score of 90.2!!! We were so happy.

life lessons

Well Saturday night I got home from work around 430am but just couldn't sleep...So I stayed up till about 7am...so sadly I had to miss church. But then around 4 I got a call from work asking me if I wanted to go in and help them clean and stuff..I said sure. probably a bad idea since now I have been up ALL night...I don't know what is wrong but I just cant sleep. I may just go out for a run here shortly. But then again I should get some sleep since I am going into work in about 5hrs and doing a 10hr shift!!??!! But I think I cant sleep since I have had some things on my mind as in where am I going in life....at this rate nowhere. I need/want to fix that. I really need to start cracking down on find some online courses for school to get started. Then I need to find a better paying job. I mean yeah I love and hate the job I am at but its not where I want to be at now. When I was a junior in high school I thought I would be half way through collage by now, in a relationship that has lasted more than six months, and very active in my church. But my life right now is the total opposite. I continue working at a place that I kinda like instead of a place where I love going in everyday. Now, yes I may have my own place and all but there is more that I need done now to change my future. Now the whole relationship thing can wait, I want to make sure that I can provide for myself first before I get into anything serious with a guy! People can say whatever they what about this. But I am really wanting to change my out look on life, relationships and school! I also want to get more active again with my church. Religion used to be a big part of my life and right now its just not even there. I have started to go back but it has been hard since people have been judging me. I hate it. Ir bothers me that I also always have to ask for rides. I wish I could have my own car so I can get to where I need to go on my own. Its hard. But I am working on it the best I can. There is more to life as I look at it now. I wish I knew more when I moved out of my parents home when I was just 19, fresh out of collage, didn't have a job then, and didn't know where life was going to take me. I guess you could say that I took the difficult road instead of the easy one. But now that I look back there are so many lessons I have learned within just the year and a half that I have been living out of my parents home. I am truly grateful for them. They helped me through a lot of them. But most of all I am thankful that my moms and my relationship has gotten so much better since I moved out. I just want to let you know that I love you mom, dad, brothers, sisters, and friends you all mean the world to me it just wouldnt be the same with out you guys here!

How life has been

Wow way to long since I was last on here! A lot has gone down since then. I was engaged again but found out he a was using me for money and was having an interesting relationship with my best friend that I count as one of my sister. So once again I broke it off. Since then I have been in one other relationship and it didn't go to well since he told me one night that he cheated on me with one of my best friends so he broke it off. Was hard to get over him but guess it was just not meant to be. So I am now focusing more on myself. Witch has gone quite well. As for school, I am looking at doing some online courses since I don't have a car to get to and from and then I can also keep the same hours at work. Don't know what school to go to quite yet but am looking. With work I am becoming a shift leader!! All my work is finally starting to pay off. Way excited, just waiting for a final exam then I will get the shirt!! With family I FINALLY had some time to go and visit them. It was great. My three youngest siblings got Baptized. It was great to see them. I just started going back to church myself. I felt weird going back. Everyone was nice to me that first Sunday I was back, but I don't know if it will always be like that. Everyone is not supposed to judge but yet I always seem to hear that someone found out about something I did. It sucks. Guess I have to deal with it for now. Hopefully their attitudes change and do forgive me. Everyone needs close friends. Also I moved to my own apartment and found two roommates and loving every minute with them. I am mostly at work but when I am here we all hang out. Also got my self a new laptop since my last one one stolen. I am starting to learn what it means to make a living for yourslef! And boy is it hard or what? Anyway I love you all, who ever reads this that is, but hope you all are well.

General Conference

Well today I had my first day and only day off this week. It was a kinda long day. I was able to watch General Conference today. I love to be able to have the chance to watch it every six months. It really helps me when the apostles and the prophet answer my questions or prayers thou their talks. I so hope that one day I get the chance to go see it in Utah! I have never been there. I also would LOVE to be able to sing in the choir one day. They do such a great job on the music and the I can just feel the spirit when then start those songs! I hope that dream comes true. You never know how grateful you would be for life until you see the good and the bad in life. I try to see the up side of it to keep me on the up side of life. It helps when I see the good because then I don't always have to look at the down. I want to let every one know that I don't believe and I don't know but I can testify that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is the true church. Read the Book of Mormon and ask of God to know if it is right for yourself. I know when I did I felt so loved and safe. So to know that I just HAD to take the next step and get baptized!!!

Life

Well hello everyone. I am sitting here at work just thinking about life and how it kinda sucks. Like today I have to pull a second shift because someone asked me to. I didnt really want to but it gives me more hours and I am a person who cant say no to more hours/money. If only I didnt have to work at all. Oh well. And now I have been just told that I dont have to be here. FLip! Oh well im stuck here so i will just sitt here on my computer. See this is what sucks about life. But also it has some ups. With me being LDS (Mormon) I know that we were sent here to recieve our bodies and follow the Lord's plan. Now since I was babtised in 2004 it has been a long jouney for me. I had a time when I fell away from the church and didnt really want to go anymore so I only went to see my friends. Now I am going to church and loving every minute of it. So that is one up of being alive!

Sad News

Well here I am laying in my bed thinking about was suposed to happen. Today was suposed to be the day that I be married. But back in August something horable happened. I went to my friends wedding and I brought my Fience with me since he wanted to go. Then I said something that he didnt like. But when you have friends that are super close with you share almost everything. Well this time I went wrong. So we got into a HUGE fight about it so now I am single on my so called wedding day. But also to metion this is the second engagment that just didnt work out. I just got to speaking with my now ex fience. And I think I still have feelings for him so I want to work things out REALLY bad. It has been pretty hard to deal with this time around since I dont really have anyone to turn to. But I am slowly dealing with it. I am still working at del taco sadly. But now I am more focused on going to school. I have been talking with people from universities. It has been great. I love life just hate the ups and downs.

Road Trip

What a blast! I finally went on my first road trip. I flew up to New York last saturday and started riding home with my best friend/roomate on sunday. It was LONG. I loved hanging out with her and finally getting a lil break from the world. Before I went on this trip I was stressing about everything. It was hard for me to deal with it. But now that I cleared my head I should be able to take on the chalenges of the world. God is with me in everything I do and say. I love him. He is my father in Heaven. So many things can happen on a little road trip. Lets see my best friend/roomate got a job in El Paso Texas. I am sad to see her leave but this could be the best thing for her since there has just been bad news the last few weeks in AZ. She has seemed as if she is stressed out, not wanting to be hear, and upset. I dont blame her. I hope the best for her. I love her as if she was my own sister. Now that I am back here I have to start planning for my wedding. It is going to be hard but I know that I can do it. I want to finish most of the planning before I go back to school in the fall. Time is just going by way to fast for me. I guess I am going to have to keep it up and try to get on with life and finish everything that I started. I sure am glad to be back home where I belong. I mean I will be 20 on sunday, Im getting married, and loving life. I cant wait to get back to work!! I dont know why it is but the whole time while I was on my trip I kept texting my boss on how I missed work or was wanting some Del Taco food (that is where I work if you didnt know). I want to tell everyone to love and enjoy life it goes by fast. Enjoy it while you can.